A Clean Slate is Available to All
I recently read a blog by a local young woman about the power of a book to take you back. She shared the following passage from the book she had read. “One must break with one’s past to embrace one’s future. It is never an easy thing to do. It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims. Letting go of what was to survive what is.”
She goes on to explain how this passage had spoken deeply to her. For years she had felt broken inside, damaged, and unworthy. She had cast herself in that light and it tainted all of her decisions. She made unhealthy decisions, poor choices, and allowed herself to be disrespected and mistreated.
She goes on to own that she not only allowed all of this to happen but she recognized that she had enabled those around her to treat badly by accepting their mistreatment. She felt destined to always be that person. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She went to several counsellors and therapists to no avail.
She writes that she remembers the day when she broke away from her past to embrace her future. She refers to it as “a light bulb of clarity.” She made a decision that she was reasonable, respectable, and healthy. She owned that she did not have to change to be loved. She loved herself and she had the right to be. She decided she was enough and she was okay. She recognized that she did not need to continue fitting in her past or anyone else’s box.
She let go of her past and embraced her future.
She reports that it was not a cure-all, maintaining the belief in herself or trusting herself were not easy things to do but the decision to move in the direction of survivor rather than dwelling in victimhood marked a new life. She made a commitment to let go of who she had been, the choices she had made, the chains with which she had bound herself, and to forgive herself. She owned that these were parts of her, where she had come from, and acknowledged the role that every experience and every person had played in bringing her to where she now stood. She gave her past an honored place of respect but removed it as a definition of who she was now.
She gave herself a blank slate, a fresh start, and grew in her own self-trust and self-confidence. She recognized that she may not be everyone’s cup of tea but she was certainly her own best friend and that was good enough for her.
This kind of courage, to take responsibility for who we are in the next moment rather than blame the past for who we have been and the life experiences we’ve had, is available to everyone. Could she have arrived at that place of clarity without the hours of counselling she had? Maybe yes or maybe no but the moment of decision is the key to embarking on a journey of healing and thriving.
The moment of clarity happened to this courageous young woman some time ago and she is willing to share the experiences of her journey and lead a group discussion.